Worthless

Tell me how you manage

To find an once of worth 

Behind my eyes 

When my own mother 

My own father 

My own sister 

Found none? 

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Mother

Today I found out my mother is still alive 

After three years of silence 

I thought maybe 

She was gone 

But she’s right where she left me 

Still as cold 

Still as uncaring 

Still as hopeless 

As ever 

My mother 

How easy it was for you 

To cut the ties that bind 

Happy New Year

I looked through the window 

At the tv counting down 

The seconds as they passed 

10

9

8

Fireworks went off behind me

I could see their colors

Reflecting off the glass

7

5

4

I had on a flimsy paper hat

And written in glitter

Was the new year 

3

2

1

It’s finally here 

Home is Where my Heart LivesĀ 

I’m so glad I never took you home.To the streets I grew up on.

To the coffee shop with the pigs hanging from the ceiling. 

To the sidewalks where I’d race neighborhood kids on razor scooters. 

To the park where my best friend and I carved our names into trees.

To the strawberry fields I’d get lost in on purpose. 

To the little carnival that came to town every July. 

Im so glad you never got to see the way they light up my little town on Christmas. 

I’m so glad I never took you home. 

You will never get to see the way the flowers bloom there. 

You’ve tainted so much.

But you never touched my home. 

Those streets belong solely to me.

Moment

I’m sitting in a car repair shop’s waiting room. There are two old men that can’t seem to get far enough away from each other. The room is small which makes this difficult. I try not to laugh. I can’t believe every moment in my life has led to this.

No one says anything. There’s a table in the corner with coffee brewing. It fills the room with the smell. There are little foam cups for people to pour coffee into, no one does. I have to hide the smile growing on my face. I can’t believe every moment in my life has led to this.

The man to my right turns his entire body sideways, to avoid the gaze of the man to my left. I watch them both out of the corners of my eyes. Next to me is a fake table top tree decorated with tiny red ornaments. The entrance to the waiting room is lined with blue tinsel. I let out a small chuckle. The men pretend not to hear. I can’t believe every moment in my life has led to this. 

Not one of us has made eye contact the entire time. We are all trying our best to pretend we’re the only ones in the room. I can’t help it any longer, I burst out laughing. Yet still neither will look in my direction. They must think I’m insane. All I can think is how every moment in my life has led to this.

And I just can’t stop the laughter. 

Lights

Look up at how bright those lights are shining. It’s not that bad. 

Things are a little strange right now, I know that. But that cup of coffee in your hand is so warm, it can’t be that bad. 

It’s cold outside and rainy too. But you’ve got blankets and a porch with a view. It’s not as bad as it seems. 

The painting on your wall, it’s still there. I know so many things changed for you. But the painting is right where you left it. It’s just not as bad as you think.

You woke up alone, but you got a full nights sleep. Things are never as bad as they seem.