I took you home

I can’t even sit outside my own house anymore

The front steps taunt me

With memories of cold nights

We spent wrapped in blankets huddled close

On those damn steps

I can’t sleep with that blanket anymore

It still smells like you

I don’t even dare to look up at the stars

Because I still remember the hopes we set on them

I can’t taste anything

Or touch anything

That doesn’t remind me of you

And my biggest mistake

Was that I took you home

My only retreat is tainted

You touched every wall

and left them painted

Stained and caked with memories

I took you home

And once you do that

There is no turning back

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Loner

There are many things

You can discover

From being left alone

For hours

Days

Or minutes.

But I wish I had realized

Much sooner

Joy can only be found

In the company of others.

One

I knew it was something when I was having this crazy fit of rage over something so stupid… because all the anger I have bottled up sometimes tends to spill out over small things… and he said to me “it’s okay. I know you’re not really mad at me and when your ready to not be angry anymore tell me and we can just forget about it” and he really meant it. He wasn’t mad about my seemingly unprovoked outburst and more importantly he let me stay angry. Anger has to be felt. when I eventually calmed down he started a random conversation about Star Wars and moved on. I brought it up later and said I was sorry and he told me “we spend so much time together that we get to see the good and the bad in each other and I’m glad for it” that was all. Yes I still have much to work on but I’ve never before met someone who could calm me so easily and instead of escalating my anger like i’m used to, maybe he could even help me tame it.